Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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