it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Randomize
