What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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