Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
