doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
