My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
