awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
