3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's just like the Real World with babies
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
