Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
