i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
