A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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