it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
