I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
