did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
