Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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