im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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