put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
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