rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
