i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
