Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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