I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Don't make out with my wife yet
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
