Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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