That's when you crack a 10am beer
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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