He is an equal opportunity slut.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
