Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize