I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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