I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
