so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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