Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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