I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
