I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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