Having a random hookup so left but love u
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
