HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
