that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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