don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
