Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize