Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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