Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
