I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
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My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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