That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize