is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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