I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
