JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Randomize
