Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Randomize
