Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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