Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
