Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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