I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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