So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
