there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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