Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
