Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
