You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
