i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I want a musical about memes.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
