she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
