I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
