just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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