he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My balls are so social today.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize