he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
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You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
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I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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