wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize