I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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