yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
