3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
