Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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